Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
