I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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