What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
