i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
