But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Don't make out with my wife yet
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
