You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
