Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
