i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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