I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
