yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
