just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
