You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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