I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
