who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
