The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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