i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
