i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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