He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
