Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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