Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
