She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
