Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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