Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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