You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
