I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
