Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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