somebody snuck up and got me drunk
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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