I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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