I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
