Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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