Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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