The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
