And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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