I hate your face
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
