evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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