K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
