people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
