We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
