That's intense
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You did what with his pubic hair?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
