So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Less talking, more tequila
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
