I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
