Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
