i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
