Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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