Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
dude i'm inner monologue high
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
