yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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