I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
