I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
