I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
