Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
