I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
did i just pee glitter
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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