I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
