I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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