Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
